Yeah Mom

It’s scary when teens start to grow up and become independent. While your first urge may be to lock them in the basement until they’re 18, that probably won’t work out well. Since we can’t keep our children by our side all the time, it’s important to take steps to keep them safe when we’re not around.

As with most issues, start talking to your teens early. Teach them what kind of behavior you expect from them and what you won’t tolerate. Also teach them how to say no when they don’t want to do something, and how to get out of various bad situations. You may even want to go as far as role playing with your child.

Set clear rules and boundaries for your teen. Make sure they know ahead of time what they are and are not allowed to do. Set a strict curfew and make sure they understand what the consequences will be if they break the rules. If they break the rules, be firm. When you make rules and don’t stick to them, you’re child is less likely to follow them.

Ask your teen where they are going and what they are doing. Take it upon yourself to make sure they are where they say they are. This doesn’t mean you need to follow them around town, but you should call parents of the friends they’re going with and double check the plans and just to ensure they’re safe. You may also consider getting them a cell phone so they can check in every so often. While you may think your children will feel oppressed by this behavior, they will also know you care what happens and feel more responsible about keeping out of unsafe situations.

While you may be more concerned about the trouble your teen and their friends might be causing, you should also be aware of people trying to hurt them. Teens are the most victimized of any age group. Make sure your teen knows how to defend themselves. You may even want to consider enrolling them in a self defense or martial arts class. The good thing about these classes is that they stress defense and escape.

While you can’t protect your teen all the time, you can guide them towards making good choices to help them stay safe.

Many parents don’t realize how important it is to teach your child that dating and sex do not go hand in hand. Many teens just assume that sex is a normal part of dating. And why wouldn’t they? Magazines, movies, television, and their friends all give them this message on a regular basis. Don’t just assume your child knows the difference; tell them as often as you can.

Make sure to teach your children from an early age the difference between dating and sex. Stress it often. Help your teen understand that dating is about getting to know the other person emotionally, not just physically.

Suggest other things to do with someone rather than have sex. It may seem silly, but many times sex comes up as an option because teens are bored and have nothing else to do or think about. Suggest fun date ideas to your child. If they stay busy enough, they’ll probably end up having to say no less.

Many people teach their children different ways to say no to sex. They come up with excuses or clever quips. The problem is: an excuse only works once. If your teen just brushes off the issue without making their opinions clear, they will face the same problem over and over again. Teach your child to say no sternly and clearly. While they may want to give reasons, but they shouldn’t have to. No should be enough.

Even if your child has already had sex, don’t let up on teaching them to say no. Many teens think once you’ve had sex with someone, you can’t refuse to do it again. Let them know that they can refuse sex if they feel uncomfortable and for any other reason. You should also stress that having sex is always important and special, not just their first time.

While it’s good to teach abstinence, you should also make your child aware of safe sex practices. You can’t always stop your children from having sex (no matter how much you want to), but you can help them be safer about it.No matter how much you want to, you can’t completely control whether your child has sex, but you can teach them how to stand up for themselves and make good choices.

three happy teenagers on the beach from Royalty Free Images

Most parents have some fears of the day their child will start dating. It is the big sign that they’re growing up and are entering adulthood. But it’s important to remember that they do still need you now and this is a normal development phase of the teen years. There are also things you can do to make dating easier for both of you.

Talk to your teen about what a good relationship is. While you may think your teen already knows how to date, they probably don’t. Most of their information comes from media that’s meant to be entertaining, not realistic. Make sure your child understands what it means to be in a loving and supporting relationship. Once you’re done talking, set a good example in your relationship with your significant other.

Once your child starts dating, don’t stop talking to them about relationships. Dating doesn’t always go as you expect; your child may need someone to come to if they have a problem. You need to keep the lines of communication open and also reiterate to them how they should treat people and expect to be treated in a relationship.

When it comes time to meet your teen’s date, be kind and respectful. While you may want to give a lecture on the rules; their date is not the one you should be talking to. It is your teen’s responsibility to know your rules and follow them. Also, while you may not like the person your child is dating, be supportive. If you have taught them about a proper relationship, then you should trust them to make their own decisions. Only intervene if you think the relationship is dangerous for your child.

As a parent, it is important for you to recognize the danger signs of an unhealthy or abusive relationship. If you have a concern, talk honestly with your child and ask others for help. Here are some clues that your child’s relationship may be in trouble.

* Constant visits and phone calls
* Having to report where they are and what they’re doing
* Signs of physical abuse
* Signs of depression

It may be hard to see your child growing up and finding new people to get close to, but if you take the right steps and teach them how relationships are supposed to be, they’re much more likely to make the right choices.

Home Intervention System – $ 29.00
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However, the Home Intervention System presents you with the information you need in our Video Parenting Course and then we take it two steps further. We give you the software that helps you implement these ideas and techniques.

The software keeps track of everything and will keep you and your child on a consistent, steady course which is crucial for changing behavior. But we don’t just stop there. We actually assign a Personal Parenting Coach to each parent. These coaches are highly qualified and motivated individuals with years of experience helping families.

View the Home Intervention System.

Most of us enjoy a lazy day when we can sleep in, putz around and just relax a little – and our kids are no different. However, when the dog days of summer come, some teens take that one “couch out” day and stretch it over an entire summer break. Here are some tips to combat summertime teen laziness and keep your teen active and engaged.

Communicate Expectations – Tell your teen in a nonthreatening but firm manner that you will not accept their staying in bed all morning and afternoon. It is perfectly reasonable to ask that they get up at a decent hour. Explain that you want them to do more than merely watch TV, play video games, or visit social networking sites all day.

If your teen wants you to help pay for their summer activities, they should be willing to abide by a few summer guidelines. Set an age appropriate, specific time that you expect them to be home, based upon the level of trust they have earned. Ask them to take on a couple of extra chores during the summer to earn some pocket money. These chores could be for you or someone else, but make sure they go above and beyond the normal, everyday chores that every member of the family should be expected to do.

Get Them Engaged – Whether you ask them to help you more around the house, participate in volunteer activities in the community, or help them get a job, you want them to be engaged in something worthwhile. Give them encouragement to help at a YMCA, children’s program, or nursing home. They may find they truly enjoy these volunteer activities and you will help them appreciate the joys of serving others that will last a lifetime.

Help them find volunteer positions by calling around to local places of worship, daycares, charities, or nursing homes. Local businesses may be hiring summer help; offer to help them find a job to earn some extra money. This will help them learn to manage money, but will also help them realize the value of their time. If they get paid by the hour, they might be less likely to fritter their time away.

Spend Family Time – Avoid giving lectures about what they should do during the summer. (Lectures, period, are ineffective with teens.) Instead, find activities that you can do with them. You don’t have to spend every waking moment with your teen, but take some time to take them shopping, go to a movie, or out for a coffee. Keep it relaxed and let your teen open up to you in their own time and way. Summertime is a great time to reconnect with your teen. Don’t let these weeks go by without taking this time to slow down and just be together.

Encourage Physical Activity – Take time to learn or play a new sport with your teen. Not only will this help your teen be more active during the summer, it’ll help you get some much needed exercise, too. Boys in particular are more likely to enjoy “side by side” activities. These are often great times to open dialogue with your son about important issues. Give tennis, swimming, cycling, or rollerblading a try. You both will benefit your health and well being.

Parents all over the country complain that their teens get lazy during the summer break. But teens, just like toddlers, need guidance, clear communication, and reminders of your expectations in order to be successful. These tips should get you well on your way. Ask your teen if there are things they’d like to accomplish before school starts, and then help them to meet those goals.

Need More Help?

Here are three guides to help you reconnect with your teen, so you can help them with the rocky road of being a teenager.

1. If you’re gearing up for another summer with your teen and want to dread trying to keep them occupied, happy and out of trouble, check out School’s Outfor plenty of expert resources to make it a great summer.

2. Real Life Guidance to Understanding Your Teen shows you how to accept what you can and cannot control in your teen’s life, how to cope with mood swings, keeping the lines of communication open.

3. Real Life Guidance to Helping Your Teen in High School includes practical suggestions to help your child find his/her identity, avoid bullies, handle peer pressure and more.

Grab them all to be armed with the easy-to-follow advice at your fingertips. They’re available for instant download, which means you can get the help you need any day of the week, even if it’s the middle of the night.

Helping your Teen Develop Self Pride and a Good Body Image

It’s often hard for a teen to feel good about themselves.  Everywhere they look, they’re surrounded by images of perfect, beautiful men and women.  What they may not realize is that those people spend all day with a trainer, or have had surgery, or the pictures are simply altered.  Often times your teens feelings of inadequacy tend to spread past their looks to other areas of their life.  As a parent, you serve a vital role in shaping how your child sees themselves. You should take steps to help foster a positive body image for your child.

Watch what you say.  Whether they show it or not, your child listens to your opinion.  You may think an offhand comment about your child’s weight, intelligence, or other abilities means nothing, but it sticks with them.  If your child is overweight, you should avoid pointing it out.  It’s fairly unlikely that your teen doesn’t know they have a weight problem.  Instead of suggesting they lose weight, suggest taking daily runs together or going to the gym.

Watch what you do.  Children learn behaviors by watching other people; their parents included.  If you obsess over your weight, your child is likely to do the same.  Practice healthy eating and exercise habits and try to include your kids.

Many parents think that problems with self esteem and body image and are isolated to girls; this is not true.  While it may not be as prevalent, boys can develop poor body images and eating disorders as well.  Boys may also be pushed to develop muscle mass causing them to work out excessively or take steroids.  Be sure to encourage a healthy self-image for your sons as well as daughters.

The best thing you can do to improve how your child feels about themselves is to compliment their good attributes.  Emphasize the positive things about your child on a regular basis.  If you tell them something enough, they’ll soon start to believe in themselves too.

It’s hard to get teens to believe good things about themselves, but if you watch what you say and do, you can help them develop a more positive image of themselves.

Ah, dating. It’s a part of every teen’s life. It’s also a source of stress for most parents when their child reaches this pivotal point. It doesn’t have to be stressful. Here are a few tips to help you keep the fear at bay when your teenager starts dating.

Age: More than a Number
Just because it seems like everyone other parent on the planet is letting their teen date, doesn’t mean you have to. Especially if your teen isn’t ready. Keep an eye out for signs that your teen is really ready to date. Dating shouldn’t be based on age alone. Take into consideration maturity and not just physical maturity. Emotional and mental maturities are more important when your teen starts dating.

Open Communication
Keep the lines of communication open. Talk to your teen and be honest about your feelings. Listen to their feelings as well. You might be surprised to find that they are just as scared as you are. Also, don’t immediately go off the deep end the first time you hear the phrase “Check her out!” or “He’s hot!” Be there for your teen when they experience the good and the bad of their dating experiences.

Groups Dates
If you are uncomfortable letting your teen go on a one on one date, try letting them go with a group the first few of times. Even if the group is split up in pairs, it still allows your teen to feel like he/she fits in, but you’ll have the safety of knowing that it’s not just your teen against one other if something were to go wrong. Public places, such as bowling alleys or miniature golf courses are a great option for group dates.

Respect all Around
Teach your teen to respect the opposite sex long before they begin dating. Remember, they can’t respect someone else before they respect themselves. Make sure your teen truly respects him/her before allowing them to date.

Rules
Set rules before your teen begins dating and stick with them. The days of courting and getting permission may be gone, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have to know who your teen is with, where they are going, how they are getting there, and when they’ll be home. Set a curfew that you feel comfortable with and keep in mind any laws in your area when doing so. Just because your town’s curfew may be midnight, doesn’t mean your teen should stay out that late if you aren’t comfortable with it. However, an 8 o’clock curfew won’t go over well at all and will likely lead to rebellion from your teen at some point. Find a happy medium that you are both comfortable with.

Article by:

Aurelia Williams is a certified Parenting Coach and author of Enter the Real Life Guidance Report Title here.

It’s never too early to ask your kids to help you with chores around the house. You can even start as early as two years old. While children mature at different rates, you can still determine what age appropriate chores are best suited for toddlers, kids, pre-teens and teens.

If you have toddlers at home, they can certainly help you by: making the bed; picking up their toys; feeding the family pet; helping you put laundry into the basket; or cleaning up split milk on the kitchen floor. These chores would be most suited to two and three year olds. You can teach your toddlers to do their chores by making a game out of it; or improvising different ways in which they can help. It will give them a sense of pride and accomplishment. Yes, even at that young age.

For four and five year olds, you can ask them to help you set the table; dust around the house; help make cookies; help you carry grocery bags (as long as you make it light for them). Six and eight year old can really get into the chores by taking care of the pet they’ve always wanted; help you vacuum the floor; take out the trash or fold the laundry.
You can even ask them to help you prepare meals. Think of the experience they are getting at this early age.

Your pre-teens will have their work cut out for them. Some of the more vigorous chores can be relegated to outside work: rake the leaves; wash the car; help clean out the garage.
If you need help inside the house, they can certainly help you prepare meals, dusting and vacuuming the house; wash dishes or clean the bathroom. Certainly they would be old enough to make their beds; clear their room of debris; organize their toys, etc.

Teens pose a different problem altogether. Sometimes they are willing to help, and other times not. It depends on how you’ve raised them. If they have been helping out since they were two, you won’t have a problem. In fact, they can do almost anything you ask of them. Be sure they can manage whatever task you assign, however. If you’ve taught them well, they have the ability to prepare meals; clean the kitchen; wash windows; do the laundry; just about any indoor and outdoor chore you need, short of providing close supervision, of course. You wouldn’t want them to feel like a baby, now would you?